A Wise change of mine

For a few minutes tonight, I went to undo a decision I made, until I realized that things were still the same, so, I wisely tucked back away and out of reach. You know, if you're treated like a doormat and are shown that you are only "Important" if you have something to give, then that is a one sided, *SELFISH* relationship.

I can't help but to feel the anger towards this person, when I told myself that I would put it to the past. So, I will delete some pages in my bookmarks and steer clear of destructive people. Even a passive attitude is highy destructive. I'm tired of being lied to and given excuses. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of being hurt. I'm tired of being pushed aside. I'm tired of being made to feel inferier. I'm tired of the guilt. I'm tired of being a third wheel.

If you want a friendship, then YOU, not me, are going to have to work for it. I've tried for the past two years or more. That's a pretty damn good effort on my part. You're not as miserable and angsty as you let on. You're just a teenager. I'm just a fifth wheel.